During our career we frequently find ourselves in situations where we must start conversations with people we don’t know. It’s not unusual to find this challenging. So how do we confidently talk to different kinds of people? Follow these five top tips and learn how to talk to anyone:
- Be the best you. People can tell if you’re being authentic or not so be yourself. Just make sure you’re being the best version of you. First impressions are important.
- Most appropriate state of mind for the job at hand. What state of mind would be useful when striking up a conversation with someone? Perhaps confident, relaxed and open would be your preference? Recognise that you are in charge of how you feel so switch your state of mind by remembering a conversation you had where you felt this way, perhaps talking to friends or colleagues and start to engage in a conversation in this way.
- It’s not what you say it’s how you say it. Brushing up on current affairs is handy if your conversation runs dry, however it’s not necessarily the content of your conversation that will leave a lasting impression, but your manner. This is because a significant percentage of our communication is non-verbal so make sure that your body language is just as appropriate as your mindset. Don’t gaze over a persons shoulder while listening to them or lean away from them while they’re talking. Instead give them your full attention by maintaining eye contact and use body language that is open and welcoming to help create rapport.
- Find common ground. It’s easy to hold a conversation once you have found common ground. To do this, ask questions that are open and engaging. What are they interested in? Be observant, paying attention to details like what newspapers/books they read, what coffee they ordered can help you strike up a conversation in a natural and effortless way. Warning: Avoid questions that are too personal or provocative. This is about creating rapport not causing offence!
- Dealing with curve balls. No matter how good your opening question is prepared for curve balls. They could come in the shape of one word answers. Resist the temptation to skip from subject to subject. In order to create a connection it’s better to build on one topic. So instead stay calm and ask a leading question. If you ask someone about the book they are reading and they reply with a limiting, “It’s good,” follow up with a leading question such as “I’m still not sure how I feel about these e-readers, I still like a book, how about you?” If this still doesn’t work, don’t take it personally. It’s not you; they’re probably just having a bad day.
Claire Brooker
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