Learning how to be assertive offers great rewards. You are more likely to achieve your goals, be more productive and have an improved quality of life. So read on for my top 5 tips on how to be more assertive at work:
1. Check your Mindset
If you believe that you are equal to every person, not better or worse, you can then communicate from a position of equality, knowing that what you have to say is important. Once you are approaching the conversation from this place, you are more likely to speak clearly and directly. As a result you will garner respect.
2. Become a better listener
If you take the time to listen properly to your boss or colleagues then they are more likely to listen to you. Giving people your undivided attention builds rapport and consequently respect and people will feel more comfortable with you. They recognise that you not only listen, but deserve to be listened to in return.
3. Respond rather than react
Human beings have learned to react to threats with an instinctive "fight or flight" response. A surge of powerful hormones such as adrenaline, cortisol and dopamine are released into our system to help us either "fight" the threat or "flee" from it. This was useful if we needed to fight a ferocious animal for food, but not so useful in a meeting as it comprimises our ability to think cleverly. Instead of reacting in this way, recognise that you can influence this response by calming yourself down before you respond. This will ensure you come accross assertively rather then aggressive or overly emotional.
4. Set Boundaries
It may be fair to say that every single one of your commitments wants more of your time. There will always be more work to do. Being assertive means putting boundaries in place and learning to prioritise work to make sure work isn't eating into your personal life.
5. Learn to say "No"
Are you the "go to" person in your office? Bosses and co-workers like to take the path of least resistance so if your known for saying "yes" to things, you will be top of their list of who to ask to take on more work. Take heed! There is no benefit of taking on a project if you don't have the time to complete it. Especially if you cannot deliver on your promises. You will gain more respect by saying "no" and offering to help in another way that is more realistic for you. If the proposed task is in the future then request some "buffer time." This strategy effectively interrupts the compulsion to give an unthinking "yes" answer, and you can make a more clear headed decision.
I hope these tips are useful, feel free to let us know how they work for you.
Claire Brooker
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